Second baby: Tips to consider when planning a sibling for your child

Planning a sibling for your child

The second time around: planning a sibling for your child

Now that you have settled into parenthood with your first child moving around, chances are that you miss that infanthood phase. “How fast do they grow up!” or “How I wish you were a baby again!” is a common refrain among young parents. Well, if you find yourself in a similar situation, you might be ready to try for another child!

Whether to have a second child or not is a deeply personal choice – one that is unique to every couple. There are several (different) questions that you might want to ask yourself this time around. “Are we ready?”, “What is the ideal age gap between siblings?”, “How will our first-born handle the new baby situation?”.

While there are no standard answers to these questions and pregnancy might not seem as daunting to you as the first time, it is still important to face some of these “issues” head-on before taking the plunge.

We’ve compiled a list of a few of them:

Are we ready?

When you plan your second baby, you have a clearer picture of what to expect. This also means that you can be better prepared for what’s to come. Still, it is important to stop and ask yourself whether you are ready to do it all over again?

From the morning sickness and general discomfort during the pregnancy to the sleepless nights and never-ending diaper changes¹. Not to mention the additional burden that caring for another child will add to your finances. It is important to be prepared for everything another pregnancy would entail for you as a family.

Mother’s health

Just like your first pregnancy, it is advisable to make sure that you are physically healthy for your second one. Start making positive changes to your diet and ease into an exercise routine. Along with a balanced diet rich in essential nutrients, include folic acid and multivitamin supplements in your routine.

Age and secondary infertility

It is a well-documented fact that fertility declines with age. Studies suggest that in women, fertility decreases significantly post 32 years of age and more rapidly post 37.³ On the other hand, male fertility starts to decline between 40-45 years of age.⁴

While trying for the second baby, you might also experience secondary infertility. It essentially refers to the difficulty couples face in conceiving their second child. Age along with underlying health issues and lifestyle disorders are considered to be major contributing factors to secondary infertility.⁵

The age gap between the siblings

Another important consideration is the age gap between the siblings. Now, there is no set rule that dictates the ideal age gap. However, it is important to give enough time to your body to get the pregnancy hormones, estrogen, and progesterone, back in order. The time needed for this differs from person to person.

There are several differing expert opinions when it comes to this, but most experts recommend a waiting period of anywhere between 12-18 months before trying for a second baby. Any gap lesser than that can put the new baby at risk of being born prematurely and/or underweight.

Preparing the older child

With the arrival of the new baby, however hard you try, as a new parent your focus is bound to shift from your older child. Thus, it is a good idea to prepare your child for the incoming sibling. Talk to them and see how they react. Some children get excited at the prospect of a new (permanent) playmate while others feel jealous and possessive of their toys and parents.

Many parents feel that including their first-born in preparations for the new baby had a positive impact. Ask their opinion on the baby supplies for the nursery and tell them about how they’ll have an important job as the big brother/sister to get them on board.

Relationship with your partner

When the newest member of your family will arrive, both you and your partner will have your hands full. You will have to take turns caring for both the kids, leaving you with barely any time for yourself or for each other. Most of your conversations will be centered around things that need to be done for the kids, even the disagreements and arguments. All of which can put a strain on your relationship.

To make sure that both of you are on the same page vis-à-vis a new baby, have a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner. Figure out a support system of babysitters and grandparents/relatives that will allow you to take a breather now and then. Establish a few ground rules for when the baby arrives like monthly dinner dates to truly connect with each other.

Conclusion:

With an elder sibling already in the mix, things are very different the second time around. Caring for two children and giving them both equal amounts of attention can get challenging at times. But to be able to give your children the special ‘sibling-bond’ is priceless. All it takes is a little bit of pre-planning and a whole lot of patience!

In case you did not store your first baby’s cord blood or cord tissue, the sibling offers you a chance at long-term health protection for your immediate family. Discuss how cord blood banking with Cryoviva, one of the top family cord blood banks in Singapore, can help your family with one of our consultants now. Call: +65-8339 8482 | E-mail: enquiry@cryoviva.com.sg